The staff at a local United Way office
realized that it had never
received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.
The person
in charge of contributions called him to persuade him
to contribute and
said, "Our research shows that out of a yearly income
of at least
$500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you
like to give
back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled
this over for a
moment and replied, "First, did your research also show
that my mother
is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills
that are several
times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way
representative
mumbled, "Um... No." "Or," the lawyer continued, "that
my brother, a
disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken
United Way representative began to stammer out an apology
but was
interrupted when the lawyer added, "Or that my sister's
husband died in
a traffic accident?" the lawyer's voice rising in indignation,
"Leaving
her penniless with three children?" The humiliated United
Way
representative, completely beaten, said simply, "I had
no idea..." On a
roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't
give any money
to them, why should I give any to you?"
A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary.
At the
party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay
married so long
in this day and age. The husband responded "When we were
first married
we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions
and my
wife would make all the minor decisions. And in 60 years
of marriage we
have never needed to make a major decision."
A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs.
She gave each child
in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them
come up with the
rest. Their insight may surprise you...
Better to be safe than ....Punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the.....Bug is close.
It's always darkest before....Daylight Savings time.
Never underestimate the power of.....Termites.
You can lead a horse to water but ....how?
Don't bite the hand that ....looks dirty.
No news is....impossible.
A miss is as good as a .....Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new....math.
If you lie down with dogs, you....stink in the morning.
Love all, trust .....me.
The pen is mightier than the....pigs.
An idle mind is....the best way to relax
Where there's smoke there's ....Pollution.
Happy the bride who.....gets all the presents.
A penny saved is....not much
Two's company, three's....the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what....you put on to go
to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ....you
have to blow
your nose.
None are so blind as....Helen Keller.
Children should be seen and not....spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed....get new batteries.
You get out of something what you....see pictured on
the box
When the blind leadeth the blind....get out of the way.
Here is a neat question for you to Ponder. You only have
1 answer and
the fate of the world is in your hands. It is time to
elect a world
leader. It all comes down to your vote. Here's the scoop
on the three
leading candidates:
Candidate A: Associates with ward heelers and consults
with
astrologists. He had two mistresses. He chain smokes
and drinks 8 to 10
martini's a day.
Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps
until noon. Used
opium in college and drinks a quart of brandy every evening.
Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian,
doesn't
smoke, drinks an occasional beer, and hasn't had any
illicit affairs.
Ok....... Which of these candidates is your choice?
A, B, or C?
Scroll Down for the Answer...
Candidate A was Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B was Winston Churchill.
Candidate C was Adolph Hitler.
Kind of scary, huh?....
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